Home Improvement For Parents

Or how I learned to stop worrying and love the bomb site. 

The Cardinal Rule: One area of your house cannot be improved without another area being destroyed.

Materials

Creating a materials list for your home improvement project is slightly different when you have kids. Observe:

• 3 screwdrivers (to replace the ones your kids misplace while playing with them)
• 16 rolls to masking tape (to keep the kids amused while they aren't losing screwdrivers)
• 3 large cardboard boxes (for them to stab with screwdrivers)
• 1 box of assorted reticulation pipe, elbows and tees (to make into guns)
• Normal project materials 

Schedule

You will also need to add some time to your expected project duration for:

• Undoing the Gordian Knots that will appear in your tie-down rope.
• Letting your child help you (this is called bonding)
• Re-doing the part your child helped you with while they aren't looking (this is called reality)
• Looking for screwdrivers (this can be avoided by budgeting for their replacement)
• Performing first aid.
  
• Retrieving children stuck in rose bushes. 
• Retrieving children from atop ladders.
• Adjudicating