Home Improvement For Parents

Or how I learned to stop worrying and love the bomb site. 

The Cardinal Rule: One area of your house cannot be improved without another area being destroyed.

Materials

Creating a materials list for your home improvement project is slightly different when you have kids. Observe:

• 3 screwdrivers (to replace the ones your kids misplace while playing with them)
• 16 rolls to masking tape (to keep the kids amused while they aren't losing screwdrivers)
• 3 large cardboard boxes (for them to stab with screwdrivers)
• 1 box of assorted reticulation pipe, elbows and tees (to make into guns)
• Normal project materials 

Schedule

You will also need to add some time to your expected project duration for:

• Undoing the Gordian Knots that will appear in your tie-down rope.
• Letting your child help you (this is called bonding)
• Re-doing the part your child helped you with while they aren't looking (this is called reality)
• Looking for screwdrivers (this can be avoided by budgeting for their replacement)
• Performing first aid.
  
• Retrieving children stuck in rose bushes. 
• Retrieving children from atop ladders.
• Adjudicating 

Make Your Own Padded Lightsabers

A Jedi normally constructs his or her own lightsaber. But if you have lots of little padawans under your care, you might like to make a few less lethal versions for them (complete with padding) so they can practice their stuff without injuring each other too much.

WARNING: These can still cause injury (especially to the eyes etc.) so please make sure your kids exercise their rudimentary empathy skills and not hit each other too aggressively. However for sensible games they are a lot softer than the plastic ones and will also last a lot longer.

Here's what you need:

• Round pine dowel (19mm diameter)
• Foam pipe insulation (19mm on the inside). You can find this in the plumbing section of your friendly (or unfriendly) hardware store. 
• Clear contact
• Black electrical tape
• Alfoil
• Magic tape
• Permanent marker
• Cellophane. The one shown here is "metallic cellophane" but normal translucent stuff works just as well because of the alfoil backing. 

How to make them:

1. Use a saw to cut the dowel to the right length. This will depend on how big your kid is. You probably want the blade to be about 1.5 times the length of their arm. Then insert the dowel into the pipe insulation. 

2. Leave about 1 cm of insulation hanging over the end of the dowel. It gives a bit more padding on the end for when they attack each other. 

 3. Leave the same spacing at the other end and trim the insulation to size (scissors will do the trick).

4. Cover the entire lightsaber in alfoil, holding it in place with the magic tape. The tape won't be too visible, but try not to go nuts.

5. Overhang the end a bit so you can cover it.

 6. Fold the end over and tape it down.

 7. Alfoil complete.

 8. Cut some cellophane and start wrapping that around it, leaving enough space for the handle.

 9. Roll and tape.

 10. Cellophane done.

11. Wrap a line of black electrical tape around it to separate the blade and handle. Draw on some grip and a few buttons with a black marker. You can use Google images if you want to get really authentic.
Then wrap a layer of clear contact around the whole thing to stop it falling apart soon after the first hit.

12. Voilà! Enjoy the fun!

Notes

• You may need to do some repairs over time. More clear contact or clear packing tape works well. 
• Experiment with different colours, sizes and styles and your Star Wars loving kids will have a blast.